Mar. 1st, 2014 11:26 pm

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It's almost a year and a half since my last entry here, I forgot I even had the account for a while. Lots of things using up working memory and energy.

Been diagnosed with high-functioning autism; the stretch of the spectrum known as Asperger. They're changing the title of it, but the functional definition is the same. The kind of support I can get if I show someone the paper. I honestly don't care what they call it - all I care about is that there is now a dialogue where people seem to understand what I'm saying. A diagnosis is a step toward getting help with some things (while people understand that I don't need help with some other things). So it's a relief. It's also a recognition of the effort I put in all the years nobody realized what was wrong, that someone else acknowledges that I did all I could, I did care, I did try. I gave it all I had and that wasn't enough. And that I have other things to give, that will show if I just get some backup in other arenas.
(For instance, I have extreme trouble getting my bearings. I used to get disoriented by just a regular turnstyle or marketplace. Like completely lost and my vision would start swimming. I get trouble focusing on buildings or the likes as wholes; I see a flood of details but can't keep track of the whole. It's gotten better, but that's because I spend most of my waking time working at it, mostly through Sonic ideas. When it comes to social navigation, I still am extremely easily disoriented.) 

I may have Myalgic Encephalomyelitis/Chronic Fatigue Syndrome that really kicked off when I burned myself out at university, but is rooted in a genetic defect I have (some mutated enzyme or something). In the middle of examination for that. If you're curious, look up Canadian Clinical Criteria for it. My sister got diagnosed with it the other day - the genetic "whoopsie" runs in the family. Mom, Dad, my sister and my brother and me have some characteristic symptoms. We're all tested for the defect, all have various kinds of it.

Taking different B-vitamins, folates, E-vitamin, et c to compensate for the deficiencies you easily get when you're like this. It is making a difference, bit by bit. Also eating organically grown food, no pesticides, really helps. (which is likely because this syndrome makes your body's detox system fail. I simply can't filter out the stuff like your average person can.)  I skip all things with high histamine levels or that raise the body's histamine levels too much  - gluten, red wine, red meat, et c. If I cheat, I get various more or less obvious reactions, from just being easier to agitate in general to bad stomach and head aches. And I get weaker and weary all over when too many of those things combine.

So this has taken up a lot of energy and time, and I mostly rest when I'm not working at solving those problems. While I wish art did not stress me out, it often does, so I let up on that until it doesn't feel like a chore.

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princess_gecko

March 2014

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